Am I listening to their voices?

His voice was choked off together with his breath. He asked for mercy but his voice was not heard. George Floyd. Until last week only his family and friends knew his name and he was just another guy. One of the millions of people who go about their business, making ends meet. A nameless person with no claim to fame and very little chance to be heard by those in authority. And just like many others before him he came face-to-face with power and wasn't heard. In his case it cost him his life. 

Because the cameras happened to be rolling when he was choked to death, his name became a rallying cry. "I can't breathe" has become a call for the voices of black people to be given dignity and to be heard. And my response is just like that of most people: they need to listen. They should change the laws. They need to train the police differently. They need to ensure that black people have a fair chance. They… that is other people. It is their problem. And I realise how hypocritical that is. It is easy for me be angry that the US allows these injustices to continue. As a European that leaves me out quite nicely. When I read my Facebook feed I see many reactions like mine: condemning the police, condemning the resulting violence, condemning  various leaders. But very little self-reflection.

There are a few different voices though. Voices of people who question themselves. People who look in the mirror instead of out of the window, who ask what they have done to contribute to the problem. Men and women who ask what they could do to bring about change. They convict me that my anger should primarily be guided to action to change myself, to change things that I have some influence over. Yes, it is appropriate to cry out for justice and to insist on change. But real change starts in the hearts of people. My heart. And that means questioning myself. 

In my personal life, how have I treated the powerless, the poor around me, the inarticulate, the annoyingly different? As a leader in the organisation I am working for, have I allowed injustice to continue? How is it possible that so few black Americans feel welcome in SIL? How is it possible that in our work in Asia, Africa and South-America, the local staff often feel that they are not heard, feel that their voices don't count? How have I contributed to that? How have  I taken things for granted? Yes, I try, but my cultural blinders, my definitions of what it means to serve God full time, my prejudices around money and position, all of it means that I don't hear their voices properly. I often  see my white colleague  and overlook our local staff. I don't give them enough room to breathe. I am part of the problem.

I am trying, but my trying is not enough. It never is. But Jesus invites me to be a channel of HIS love and mercy.  When I do that I can be confident about doing the right thing  and be like Him in this world, be HIS hand and feet to those around me . He can give me HIS ears to listen to the voices of the voiceless. I can become more than just another guy going about my own business, making ends meet. I cry for mercy to be the person God wants me to be. I pray that my voice isn't choked off by the weight of my own self-righteousness which threatens to take away my very life. I pray that my name gets forgotten, but that Jesus' name becomes a rallying cry for others, because of me.

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